Sunday, April 12, 2009

Still playing catchup - cussing in sci-fi

"Bebop?? Bebop??? Where the frell are you?"
"I'm over at the port-a-let, having a poodoo, Shredder!"
"Bebop! This giant talking turtle just called me a Chrome Dome!"
"That Smurf! What a Nerf Herder!"
"Nerf Herder?? What the shock is a Nerf Herder, Bebop?"

Bebop was so taken aback by Shredder's lack of mastery of the English language as it relates to Sci-fi bad words, he almost muttered, "Farathoom", under his breath. However, if the slim chance occured in which the nearly illiterate Shredder had read Tanith Lee's obscure 1976 sci-fi thriller, "Don't Bite the Sun", then he would probably know that "Farathoom" meant "bloody fucking hell", and would retaliate with such vicious force that Bebop would be shredded to mince meat, and Shredder would have to find a new goon to protect him. Luckily, Bebop exercised caution, keeping his vulgar thoughts to himself.

"I think Krang said it once to his mom during that Dimension X sea cruise!", Bebop retaliated.
"Never mind that! This whole supervillian thing is hard! I can't say fuck or shit or motherfuck! I hate all these bullshit words that mask my true verbal intentions!"
"But our curse words are more creative, my Samurai Lord!"
"Still, I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle", Shreddler excla........

*poof*........and of course, as the non-Douglas Adams reading Shredder accidentally opens up yet another wormhole in the time-space continuum, Krang reappears, shazbots a brick, and finally tells Shredder to "Frak Off" for the last time.


sk said...

I really like the premise here, about the english language and the sci-fi universe. Very fun.

mister e said...

The last paragraph is my favorite. Get it!

ChicagoRilke23 said...

wow, you went all out- very cool!