Sunday, April 12, 2009


Sven Kowalski, 24, Customer Service Representative, Lowe's, Peoria, Ill

"Please come out and see my band!"

Come see my new original progressive grunge IDM progressive band, "Gilded by Trojan Horses, of Stefan". We go on at 9 PM this Wednesday night at the Pewter Pub on 7th and E. Chicago Ave. Having toiled laborously for four years creating original soul/prog/punk with influences that predate Bill Withers' third record while pulling from the raw clostrophobic energy of Gang of Four's seminal "Entertainment" and the latter half of Television's "Marquee Moon", and combining those influences with Fela Kuti's post prison years and pre and post Public Enemy New York hip-hop, "Gilded by Trojan Horses, of Stefan" combine all of those influences in creating a new psychadelic-tinged dance sound reminiscent of Pere Ubu's "The Modern Dance" crossed with the ambient instrumental tracks on Moby's "Animal Rights", as well as a subtle hint of the disco Beetoven influence from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack.
And, for one night only, we will be playing our epic new record, "Get off my couch, mother earth, I'm dying in here, for thine is the kingdom"
featuring the 17 minute epic, "GXJ 650", dubbed by the Dayton daily reader as "A song that is very involved, and has a lot of parts". We are also honored to be opening for Champaign's own "Swami Rama", featuring former Ammonium Nitrate Disasters lead frontman David Baab!
Please come out! The show is free, and the beer is cheap!

Yarely Horstman, 25, Sales Associate, Lowe's, Peoria, IL
Counterpoint: "Yeah, I'll try to make it out if i can"

Thanks for inviting me out, Sven. No, really! Frannie who works over down at Kinko's down there down the block already invited me to the 80's night over at the Red Horse Saloon down on 9th, and I heard they got some mad kareoke party up on 13th, next to the barber shop. I think Freddie and Mike from work are hitting up this kegger as well, but I really never seen yo band before, so I might try to check it out if all of my other options dont work out. Of course, I also got to clean my living room, my ma and pa might be stoppin by next week, and that can get stressful and all if they come see me with a dirty house. Plus that bitch who claimed I fed her roofies and shit at that party is really stressing me out, tryin to claim that she's got a grounds for a lawsuit and all that, so I don't know, I'm kind of stressed and all and I don't know if I would really get the experience. You know, just tell me when you playin next, cuz I do got a lot of shit going on. There's also dis U2 cover band goin on over at Nikki's on Constance.
I know I haven't been seen your band yet, but I heard that that magazine said that one song by the Trojan Hoses of Stefan is pretty good, and i been meanin to check it out.
Oh, and by the way, thanks for coverin me on the sales floor during my lunch break. Sorry I didn't tell you about that crazy plywood freak, I think he's bipolar or somethin.


sk said...

How fun! because yes, it is nice that you invited me to your show...but I really don't care. A fun play on a regular occurrence.

Bunch said...

Trust me....I've been on both sides of this onion-esque point-counterpoint

philipone said...

cracked me up familiar. good stuff.