Sunday, April 5, 2009

4-5. How to save the world in 4 minutes.

How would I save the world in 4 minutes. (This is assuming authoritarian executive power)

1. Executive order. Fund the shit out of U.S. public schools. Teachers start at 60k. Allow schools to exist as a place of varied learning, alloting classes for young students in trades and arts. End standardized testing as a sole method of grading a school's success. Allow students to flourish in the various talents that they hold, which are often ignored in the public school system.
2. Make illegal the use of auto-tune in popular radio music.
3. Repeal capital punishment (exceptions can be made for those that still continue to use auto-tune in popular music). In fact, disallow any government from having the right to kill people for any reason.
4. Place a giant invisible comfortable blanket over the circumference of the earth to protect us from the effects of global warming.
5. Somehow convince all religious sects across the world that their "holy land" is somewhere in southeast Louisiana. It would be great for the ailing economy, but maybe not so much for the murder rate.
6. Continue to promote my rock band, "The Distant Seconds", throughout the world. We will bring peace and unity to all societies, communities, and species, especially with the unleashing of our new power ballad, "I'm here for Your Severed Head".
7. Ice cream every day.
8. Somehow end the commodification of art, ideas, and thoughts.


mister e said...

1. Yes. And I would add that all schools should have a cap on class size at 10 kids.
2. Yes!
3. Yes (and yes!)
6. Yes
8. Yes!

ChicagoRilke23 said...

i love #6!!!

i also am a huge fan of number ONE! amen tot that. maybe we would not have as many asshats in the world if people if not got a full education but were at least just made aware of things, and were exposed to ideas and left for them to make a better informed decision on things... i could go on forever about this.

also, i could go on about why i am for capital punishment. if someone came in and hacked up my family &/or loved ones, and did horrific things to them, you can damn well be sure that i would not want them to go unpunished. by committing those acts they have proven they can not be at least a quasi, if not full functioning member contributing something to society. what can i say, i was a CJ major in college and was in CJ classes in high school.

Bunch said...

But capital punishment in no way decreases crime. This is a statistically accurate fact. In fact, most states that offer capital punishment have higher crime rates, and the rates in all cases have only gone up after capital punishment's enactment

In addition, the concept of murder as a punishment for murder is just plain hypocritical

In addition, there is always a chance that the innocent can be convicted. Many innocents are on death row due to often racially motivated convictions

In addition, the prison system (only theoretically, but this is better than execution) provides the criminal time for reconciliation and rehabilitation

In addition, for those awful humans that one could not comprehend how they deserve to live.......I believe that a lifelong prison sentence would be a much more painful punishment.

In addition, we are the only first-world country that allows capital punishment. Other first-world countries view it as primitive, or are just fundementally aware, due to reading data, that it does not deter crime.

Sorry to ramble too much, I've just got a pretty strong opinion on that one!