Thursday, April 2, 2009

Pain

I grind my teeth viciously every single night, gradually assuring myself not only a morning of powerful, thick headaches, but also a full, long life of dental work. I do this because I always internalize my continuous tension, and this internalization allows me to give off a mirage of a calm demeanor. I don't scream, don't explode in anger, don't punch walls, don't smash bottles.......all I do, when tense, is take it out on my poor teeth.
I've tried mouthpieces, to no avail. My mouth just fills up with saliva and I spend my first moment of the next morning just drinking a long night's worth of spit. The headaches are large in scope - a pounding, encompassing, skill splitting, yet dull pain.

I rarely bitch about this. After all, I'm a man, right? I had to think very hard about the answer to this "pain" question, because I tend to ignore my physical pain as much as possible. It's just not manly to talk about how much you hurt. While nobody likes to spend time with those constantly bringing up their injuries in conversation, it's probably nearly as unhealthy to internalize all pain.

6 comments:

sk said...

I rarely grind my teeth...but it hurts! When I was doing it often (i.e. very stressed), I considered wearing a mouth guard to bed. Ow!

mister e said...

I would never have guessed - you always seem so laid back. But more specifically, I think the idea that men can't bitch about their pain like women can is BS. We all experience it and sometimes it makes life really uncomfortable. F-you gender stereotypes!

Ps. I'm glad you're on here!

ChicagoRilke23 said...

i hear ya on the grinding thing. i totally do that! i also clench my teeth when very annoyed or angry so it happens more often that i would like it to...

hang in there and feel free to share your pain w/me. i don't mind. it's refreshing to hear others speak of their woes. so often i feel like i overload everyone with mine at times.

s i n c l a i r said...

i think teeth grinding or ulcers or any physical manifestation of emotional or psychological pain is difficult to deal with, often because our medical system is so intent on separating the mind and the body.

Bunch said...

Emily, yeah, gender stereotypes are super lame.

Sinclair, I agree with everything you just wrote

jeremy said...

Hey B, I say smash something. For me, teeth grinding is usually an indicator I'm about to smash something. When I was a kid (when?) my dad set up a tire swing in the backyard that I could beat the shit out of so that I would stop putting holes in my bedroom walls. But that's another story. Keep writing, my friend -- it's an outlet too, and might save your teeth some abuse ;)

Another lame stereotype is that laid-back people are immune to anger, annoyance, stress, etc. All energy has to go somewhere, right?